It’s a bit hard being the eldest child. I’m a late bloomer, but it still breaks my heart that I’m finally moving out of my parents’ house! They’re a bit sad too, and my youngest brother is in denial. Finally … Continue reading
A patient i’ve been seeing for 6 months came today and said “you were the right person to see during that difficult time”.
What do you do once you’ve reached the stars? You look back and marvel at how far you’ve come. And at the same time, you feel the anxiety of exploring unknown territory. Maybe the journey was where you belonged. Or … Continue reading
I am currently in Houstan, Texas waiting for my plane ride back to Auckland. The past 7 days have been crazy hectic and exhausting, but I am so happy I took the spontaneous trip.
Two weeks ago, my mom told me that my grandfather in Chicago was terribly sick and the they weren’t sure how long he has. So my parents decided to fly to Chicago. I told them I wish I could come, but I had my exams (the psychology registration exams, probably the most important exam of my life) coming up in the next month (now it is only two weeks away). So I initially told my mom that I couldn’t make it.
I guess the decision did not sit well with me because the next day at work, I kept asking colleagues for advice even if I had already made a decision (or so I thought). It wasn’t until I told my supervisor about my situation when everything changed.
“Take it from me, family comes first.”
In other words, go. So I did.
And while I am definitely not excited to come back to backlogs at work, papers that need to be finished, and study to be crammed, I think I am very thankful to have had the opportunity, and the push to go to Chicago with my parents to visit my family.
I did not realize how much I missed them until I saw them all again- relatives from mom and pop’s sides of the family. I did not realize how deprived I was of family connection until we got together again. You see, I did not grow up with a lot of cousins in the Philippines. We rarely saw my pop’s side of the family because some of them lived in their hometown province, while most of them had moved to the States. My mom’s half-sisters and brother also lived in the States, and while we try to keep in touch as much as we could, we also do not see each other often. And of course, when we moved to New Zealand, I had to say goodbye to family in the Philippines. We have family friends who are kind of like aunties, uncles and cousins to me too, but I guess you can’t beat the bond between the real thing. I am so happy, especially because I got to meet my baby cousins as well (children of my mom’s half-sister). I especially bonded with my two-year old cousin, and it is just so precious to be able to meet her at this part of her life. She’s so bubbly and energetic, and she keeps addressing me as ‘my cousin’ which is the sweetest thing. I love my mom’s side of the family- they are so nice to my mom and our family, that I never regarded them as half-aunties or half-cousins.
And of course, getting to see Lolo, was worth everything. We had spent a lot of quality time with them back in 2003 and 2005 when we visited Chicago, I was probably around 13 or 14. We had a roadtrip to Disneyland, and we lived in their house for a few months. It was really special. Lolo couldn’t remember us sometimes because of his illness, but when I told him about how my brothers still try to attack each other with straw wrappers, the way he taught us all when we were little, everyone swore he was trying to laugh. When I introduced myself as his granddaughter, his face suddenly lit up with a smile- and that is such a big deal because of his memory, and also because we thought his mouth was affected by the stroke. He could still smile afterall!
Mom looks so much like Lolo. She also inherited tha family’s humor. I am still amazed at how similar my mom and her siblings are in terms of their wit and silliness.
I’ll be ready to go back to work. My stress a few weeks ago when I was deciding on whether or not I should go seems to have shrunk, after this trip kind of put everything into context.