What do you do once you’ve reached the stars?
You look back and marvel at how far you’ve come. And at the same time, you feel the anxiety of exploring unknown territory.
Maybe the journey was where you belonged.
Or maybe, you just have to figure out a way to settle in.
So I’ve finally, finally passed my registration exams last February, and even after that, everything felt like a whirlwind. The photo taken above was during the second day of the exams, after facing around 12 hours of intense stress from the previous day’s exam and reaching an almost manic state after midnight prepping for the second rounds. I almost cried when one of the examiners started being empathetic and all, acknowledging my lack of sleep and thanking me for the hard work I’ve put in for the orals. And then getting a call in the afternoon and finding out that hey, I did pass my exams!
I was in several shades of shock and disbelief. Really? It’s over?
It’s been almost 2 months since the final registration exams. I received my license from the board saying that I am a full-fledged psychologist. I went through an interview, and landed my first full time job. I’ve been working as usual, except with double the amount of workload.
And it’s only been just settling in. I now understand that feeling of separation anxiety that previous graduates have been telling us. I miss being in class. I now miss being a student. After 7 years of tertiary and post-graduate education, I am finally let out into the working world.
I felt lost and scattered. During the first week of my new job, I questioned myself- do I really have what it takes? I am no longer just studying, this is my life now, will I still love psychology as a working girl, as much as I loved it as a student?
Friends and loved ones have been telling me that I’m just going through the stages of getting used to stuff. And I agree. I actually had a good day at work today. So many things to get used to, but I guess, as always, I need to remember to be kind to myself. I guess I had these underlying expectations that once I finish the postgraduate program, I will know everything. Well no, I need to keep on learning. I need to find a way to keep my love for psychology alive. I want to be more patient with myself. I can do this. Just one step at a time.
And there are more things to come this year. Exciting and anxiety-provoking all in one!
Hopefully I’ll be able to write more now that I’m starting to get the hang of things!